Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
