I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
