Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
