I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
