I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
