Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
