if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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