What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
