Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
