Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
