I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
