they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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