two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
