Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
