jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Someone signed my nipple.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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