We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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