I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
