If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
