we made out on top of his cat.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
