dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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