We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
