I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
