is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
