porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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