Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
