i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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