This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
