I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
