it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
