did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
she smelled like a LAN party
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
