Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
