DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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