I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
