dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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