Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
