they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
be right there i have to get my cape
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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