Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
In America we eat man semen.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
