Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I have demons in me.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
