Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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