did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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