As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
