So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
