lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
