Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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