It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize