It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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