You really coming over, don't trick.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
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