So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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