Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
