I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
