we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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