So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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