I think im going to throw up on grandma
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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