Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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