But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
