Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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